Eight Days

Link:  How long can you ignore a screaming baby?

Merely days ago I was wondering what type of person it takes to sit in your lounge watching TV while your child lies locked up in the next room, starving to death.  This pondering was based on an actual event and much of the musing in that post was triggered by this story and this story.

Well, whatever I was wondering about then barely compares to the sickening feeling in the pit of my stomach after reading this article.  This puts a whole different spin on motive and reason.  On the one hand you have an ignorant, selfish b***h of a mother but on the other hand... my naive little mind is having to acknowledge the reality of deep, severe malice.  Hatred, vitriol, cruelty and evil-hearted intentions.

In this article the authors cites Ania Wilczynski's research into parent's who kill their children and notes that she:

"identified 11 reasons why parents kill, including revenge, jealousy and rejection. However the most common reason is an effort to discipline". 

I'm going to take some blogging license here and really generalise, but from what I've heard, read and experienced about abused children, they are usually children afraid of their own shadows.

I think its because I'm clumsy
I try not to talk too loud
Maybe its because I'm crazy
I try not to act too proud - Suzanne Vega, Luka

Abused children are often obsessed with keeping the balance, not upsetting the parent(s) and being quiet or invisible.  To write this off as primarily disciplinary in nature or to give any credence to a parent's claims or justification that it began as discipline, is a huge disservice to children.  It sets the fight against child abuse back 40 years. 

Children are helpless, innocent and fragile.  Humans look after their children for over 10 years because a child would most likely not survive out in the wild alone.  Sure there are feral children, but for every feral child there are probably 10 or 100 that have died of starvation or exposure.  Our duty towards children is to protect them, to nurture them and to love them unconditionally.  Believe it or not, love is actually necessary for the human child.  In babies' homes for very young orphans, volunteers are called in to simply hold the babies.  Human babies struggle to thrive without milk, warmth and human contact.  You just need to read any one of Torey Hayden's books to see the miraculous effect that a little love and guidance can have on a damaged child.

My rather drawn out point is that we are the adults.  We are here to protect the children, we are not here to abuse them.  There is no excuse for abuse and "discipline" simply does not describe a campaign of methodical neglect, malice and violence. 

I ask one more time.  How do you sit in the next room while your child is in the next room (or closet) starving to death?

And finally, because I'm turning 35 this year, I'm going to exercise my right to post really sad Whitney Houston lyrics from my youth (sad as in... wow, how could I?)

I believe the children are our are future
Teach them well and let them lead the way
Show them all the beauty they possess inside
Give them a sense of pride to make it easier
Let the children's laughter remind us how we used to be - Whitney Houston, Greatest Love of All

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Children Are Our Future

Link:  Digging deep at Haut de la Garenne

This story is just emerging but I expect that over the days and weeks to come, we'll come to know the full horror of it.  In a nutshell, police began to investigate a children's home on the island of Jersey in 2006.  There were investigating allegations of child sexual and physical abuse which were detailed here.  I'm not certain why there was a huge gap in time between police finding out about the abuse in 2006 and then the news getting hold of it in December 2007.  I'll be charitable and say that must be the "covert" investigations that the police were purportedly undertaking.  I'm not usually  a critic of the police but I have to admit that in this case, it feels like a couple of kids abused in the 60s, 70s and 80s simply wasn't a priority for them.

Something changed.  A couple of days ago the police received a tip off and it lead them to discover human remains in the house.  A child's remains to be precise.  Now they are breaking into rooms and digging into cellars and there are definite panic stations.

Now of course, many people are drumming up the courage to contact police to tell them of their own abuse.  Based on several reports of a basement area, the police have begun, as I said, to dig into the bricked up cellars and underground rooms and this is where my mind slammed on the brakes.  I am fully aware that my imagination is running riot, but I am envisaging an underground torture chamber and I cannot reconcile that with the fact that this place was a children's home.

"A nation's progress can be judged by how they treat their animals." -Gandhi

This quotation has been used by many people over the years to pass comment on the treatment of children, the poor, the workers and so on.  I reckon that animals are treated better than many children today.  The biggest love in my life (after Le Husband) is my dogs and cats and animal abuse sickens me but that simply pales when you hear about what people do to babies and children.

Take a quick look at this list over at Bonnie's Blog of Crime.  Bonnie focuses mainly on US cases but how about the UK?  Victoria Climbie (deceased), unnamed child, Jessica Randall (deceased), Ryan Hawkins (deceased), Baby Duncan, Hugo Wang (deceased), Jade Hart (deceased), Aaron Gilbert (deceased), Ainlee Walker (deceased), and Kimberley Baker (deceased).

All of the questions regarding how this happens and how come the schools, social workers and family do nothing to stop it are relevant; but I wonder what it is that switches in a human being's brain to allow them to commit such cruelty?  I am aware that those people who are sexually or physically abused often grow up to do the same themselves, I know that people often feel so powerless in their lives that they will take out their rage and fury on any unwitting victim, I know that parenthood can be so frustrating sometimes and that a screaming baby or child can send one over the edge; but how on Earth do you sit and knit or watch TV or converse with your spouse / parent / friend while your child starves to death in the next room?  The next room which you have locked. 

I am quite sure it is not a short process, starving to death, and a child must cry and scream and bang to be let out.  Unless you have beaten them into submission and they die alone and afraid.  Like I said, I know there are psychosocial factors that lead a person to abuse another being, be it physical, emotional or sexual abuse; but has the time not come when we, as a postmodern, enlightened society admit that some acts are acts of pure evil and criminality.  If these acts exist, would this not mean that such criminals could not be rehabilitated because rehabilitation in itself suggests that there was once a state of normalcy and functioning?  In other words, if an act is purely criminal and the possibility exists that the perpetrator is therefore purely criminal, is it not then impossible to "rehabilitate"? 

"Rehabilitation means; To restore to useful life, as through therapy and education" - Wikipedia

You can't restore an object to a state it did not previously occupy.  There are other words for what you can do, with altogether different definitions.

I wonder what this means for the death penalty argument?  I would definitely need to reassess my reasoning regarding criminal acts and evil people before I entered into such an argument.

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More on Africa

mysehnsucht, this is basically an answer to your last post, but I was hesitant to clog up your comments page with my rambling stream of consciousness!!

A co-worker gave me some perspective last week. In the time since I left school, I partied, travelled the world, got an education (somehow), got a job and got married. I made lot of mistakes, not all of which I regret. In the early 90's, his family was forced off their farm in Zimbabwe and they fled to UK with nothing. They literally had the clothes on their backs and a handful of photographs and trinkets that they were able to put in their pockets. I can't imagine anything worse than losing your history like that and I think that I was brought up to believe that because of the holocaust. The past 15 years involved my colleague never taking a wrong step, because to do so would have jeopardised the livelihood of his entire family. No parties, little education and a focus on survival.

It's hard to explain why I link this to mysehnsucht's post but I'm actually agreeing with what she said. You miss the South Africa you grew up in and that is the most profound statement because my colleague can long for Zim if he wants but he knows he's basically longing for Rhodesia.

The thing is - he is so completely like us - he looks and sounds like a South African cricket player. All of that happened to someone just like you and I.

South African's are so desperately telling themselves that what happened in Zim won't happen in SA. Even if they say it and fear it, they can't quite imagine the people coming over the horizon to kick them out of their gated suburbs.

But what we're really doing is longing for, believing in and defending a country that simply doesn't exist anymore.

Development in Zimbabwe and Mozambique once compared to South Africa. Now, Mozambique is often listed as the poorest country in the world and they have ethnic cleansing and rape camps in Zimbabwe.
Rwanda was very, very similar to South Africa in 1994. Beautiful cities with modern architecture surrounded by slums and then rural areas. And then in 3 months genocide took 800,000 lives. The fastest genocide in history. (Or if I may completely misquote the US, "it's possible that some acts of genocide might have occurred".

Except that what happened in Rwanda and what's happening in Zimbabwe (and Mozambique) was ignored by the world. No one cared. Planet Earth just loves to ignore this kind of stuff and then get all self-righteous and hold war crimes trials.

A history of engendered hate and the oppression of one class of people by another in order to promote the luxury of the elite few; a country desperately impoverished and looking to believe in any politician who promises a solution; a populist appeal to the masses, promises of retribution and incitations to mass action; a general atmosphere of lawlessness and a complete disregard for human life; a disenfranchised, uneducated and impoverished youth; a government rife with rumours of corruption and scandal; and finally, evidence of incredible wealth in the midst of hunger, homelessness, poverty and hopelessness. Those are factors that have been central to the wars, genocides and mass murders in Africa (and the Balkans and Germany for that matter). Those are factors that are currently very present and very real in South Africa at the moment. It's like a ticking bomb.

My standpoint is not to convince my friends to leave SA, not to convince people it's worse than anywhere else on Earth, not to be a hate- or fear-monger, not to be paranoid or closed-minded and generally not to be politically conservative, naive or vague.

My standpoint and purpose is to constantly remind myself (and my poor long-suffering friends' list) that it can happen to South Africa, to continue to read up on African history and to familiarise myself with the social, political and historical reasons behind war and genocide and finally, to continue to talk about my findings and research and to be of use both on a personal and social level if it ever does happen.

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Kangaroos are humans too

Link: Australian motorist killed by kangaroo

This makes me really angry. The whole wording of the article, obviously filtered through from the Australian newsrooms, paints the kangaroo out to be a cold-blooded irritation. That's right, they don't go so far as to put intention and motive into the animal's head, but this animal has certainly robbed the Australian nation of a fine upstanding citizen.

No mention is given or blame apportioned to the other motorist, who hit a four foot tall kangaroo with such force, that it went flying right through the body of another car. Have you ever seen a kangaroo? These are massive creatures, built like brick sh*thouses. Sending one flying through the windscreen of a 4x4 and beyond could not have been an easy feat. Unless you hit it at 160km/h.

Perhaps it is time we learnt to respect our environment; time we stopped speeding and killing three-year-old children and statuesque kangas alike; time we realise that no matter how we try to control our environment, none of it matters until we learn to control ourselves.

Rest in peace Kanga, may your next incarnation involve a world without oil.

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Never Forget

I just finished reading 102 Minutes. I'm in a bit of a hurry, so I'm not going to link to it right now. It is about September 11th, 2001, about the attack on the World Trade Centre. It traces, through oral history and radio transmissions, the 102 minutes between the first plane hitting the north tower, through the south tower being struck and collapsing, to the collapse of the north tower. The book was really well written and absolutely fascinating. And heart-breaking. And it makes you furious all over again, and then just sad.

Stephen gets uncomfortable when I get so drawn in by these things. We're in a catch 22 situation. I read non-fiction, I get drawn in and for just a while my world is filled with investigations into whatever it is I am studying.

But is that really unusual? My world has been constructed on the very premise of Never Forget.

Starting in primary school, I read every children's novel there was to read about the Holocaust. My family, being Sephardi, were not persecuted in the Holocaust. (No, we just had the dubious honour of being persecuted in the Spanish Inquisition). But the message from my Mum was clear. Never, ever forget.

And on Friday night dinners, we always set a place for the Russian Jews. For the people who could not be there. We were never to forget that there would not be freedom until all Jews were free, and then until all were in Israel.

Much closer to home - Hillsborough Disaster. It's hard to explain. But up there, where my Dad lives, football runs in your veins, its in your bones, your very make up. Everyone felt that loss, whether they knew someone who died or not. And again, the message. Never Forget.

Growing up in that time, in that spirit, I have sat back in utter dismay to see Kuwait, Rwanda, Bosnia, Sudan, Zimbabwe. Have we not learned anything? We've not learned a thing.

Never again can we limit education, health care or housing, based on the colour of one's skin. Or any other basis of religion, race, gender, nationality, language, sexual preference.

Most important to me, and many people I know struggle to understand this, is the lessons we learned from Apartheid. Never again can we let people be kidnapped, raped, murdered, imprisoned, destroyed like that again. Never again can we limit 90% of our population to the most barren, unproductive, overcrowded land. Never again can we limit education, health care or housing, based on the colour of one's skin. Or any other basis of religion, race, gender, nationality, language, sexual preference. For as long as what happens in this country protects the rights of our people, then that is okay. People say South Africa is going to become a Zimbabwe. If that means the poor are rewarded, then that is fine. If it means large scale genocide and ethnic cleansing, which is happening in Zimbabwe, then not on my watch.

And, had we remembered the horrors of the Anglo-Boer Wars, we may well have avoided the horrors of the 20th century.

We can't forget the horrors of the past, we can't ignore how close to us they occurred, we can't ignore how close they are to happening again.

So when Stephen becomes uncomfortable at my morbid nature, at my dissection of the past and obsession with the facts, I can only think that it's not even enough. All I can do is learn and remember, especially with past events, events that occurred in other countries. Gosh. Can you imagine 3000, or even 300 000 people dying and the world being too embarrassed to remember? Of course not. That is ludicrous.

The past two weeks it took me to read 102 Minutes (there, I linked to it), I have remembered the shock and horror of that day, I have remembered watching the second plane plough into the second tower and thinking it was a replay. Until they replayed it. I've remembered innocent people and heroes, the loss and the seeping realisation that the world would never, ever be the same again. I remember realising it was intentional. I've been reminded of the anthrax scares, of the massive changes we have gone through in five years. Panic, fear, hate, anger, shame. The world is not the same place, our children are being born into a frightening time.

And what makes this time different for much of the 20th Century is that in those times we tried to convince ourselves that we could prevent world war, that we could solve world hunger, that there were such things as diplomacy and a greater good. From the world wars to the cold war, there was this general world idea that we could and would achieve world peace. Or at the very least, we would know we died trying. Now... now it is different, because there can no longer be faith and hope in the face of world terror, greed and hate.

Genocide, ethnic cleansing, terror. The super-rich - Donald Trump, Bill Gates. Megalomaniacal world leadership - Blair, Bush. This is the gift we give our children. I think I preferred my gift of Never Forget.

Image credit: “WTC Smoking on 9-11” by Michael Foran. Licensed under Creative Commons (source)

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